10 Unreasonable Reasons I Didn’t Write Today: Funny Microfiction List

Sometimes when you look through your old writing you find a gem. I don’t even remember writing this! Made me laugh so I thought I’d share..

  1. My Muse went on strike and all she did all day was sit in a corner of the ceiling, throwing raspberries at me and chanting, 99 Bottles Of Root Beer On The Wall over and over and over…
  2. Deranged bandits broke into my study and stole all my pens and by the time I whittled a pencil out of a stick of wood and made charcoal to write with it was time to go to bed


  3. I was typing away on my old fashioned typewriter when the ribbon jammed and when I pulled it out to fix it, somehow I got glue on it, and in trying to unstick myself… well I’ll never understand how it happened, but will you just stop standing there laughing at me and get a pair of scissors to help me out of this mess?
  4. Aliens stole my brain for research purposes and when they returned it, it took 24 hours for my brain to reboot where I could use words again.
  5. I was sitting in the woods, writing away in my notebook, when a great flying unicorn swooped down, grabbed my manuscript, and disappeared into the sunset.
  6. A purple dragon crept out of the closet and set fire too my whole entire office.
  7. The pixies stole my laptop and I strongly suspect they made off with my notebook and pens as well…
  8. Zombies tried to eat my brain and when I fed them my manuscript they went away.
  9. My book only comes out in stormy weather and at night, because its a vampire novel—see the sparkly ink?
  10. While chasing a white rabbit,
    I fell down a hole, caught my ankle on a giant tree root, and yelled myself hoarse until rescued, so I was in no shape for writing today.

What about all ya’ll? How come you didn’t write today? Tell us in the comments! (Imagination will be more appreciated that strict truth here…) 😉

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