microfiction

Snarky Pride and Prejudice Letters [Microfiction Monday]

This is my attempt at creating a humorous flash-fiction “summary” of one of my favorite stories, Pride and Prejudice. It’s inspired by Jane Austen’s early juvinalia, and her partiality to stories told in letter form. Hope you get a giggle out of this….

My Dear Elizabeth,

Madam, forgive the wrong I did your esteemed sister. My intentions were kindly meant.
Cordially,

Darcy

Sir,

Be pleased to keep your kindnesses to yourself hereafter.

Lizzie

Madam,

Furthermore, you are deceived in that rat, Wickham. He used my sister abhominably.

Darcy

Hmph.

I’ll just bet he did.

–LB

Ma’am,

Just ask my cousin.

–D

Darcy,

You were miserably right. Wickham has run off with my baby sister. Moreover, I believe I love you madly. Drat, how inconvenient.
Love,

Lizzie

Beloved,

I’ve forced the scoundrel to marry your sister, and my friend is on his way to propose to your other sister. Let us now be married as well, my darling.
Love,

Darcy

Dearest,

Yes lets!

–Lizzie

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