For fun, a friend and I started compiling this microfiction list. There’s only 6 right now, but I’m sure we’ll think of more!
Here they are:
When a villain approaches with a knife, be sure to faint, thereby ensuring that you are completely unable to protect yourself.
If a flaming dragon attempts to kidnap you, just stand there and shriek helplessly; on no account are you to pick up a stick, stone, sword or other defensive object and defend your person!
While locked up in a tower, sit by the window and sigh, saying, “How I wish somebody would rescue me!” If the thought comes to mind to tear up your abundant bedsheets and slide down to the ground, or to cut off your ridiculously long tresses and braid a rope out of them…banish the thought immediately!
When you run across a pointy thing in the deepest, darkest dungeon, be sure to prick your finger on it so that you can sleep until Mr. Right shows up.
Always, accept fruit from creepy old women.
If kidnapped by an evildoer, be sure to cry excessively. That usually helps.
Can you think of more? Comment below!
(PS, the last three came from my awesome friend Jami. You can buy her book here.)