30 Day Blog Challenge, microfiction, writing

25 Ways I Tried to Be Heroic and Failed Epically (One Sentence Stories) [Blog Challenge Day 5]

Today, I’m sharing a list of humorous one sentence stories. Find out more about short-short fiction here, read an explanation of the game, and check out a previous post of List Fiction

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I’m on a quest to be a hero. Save the world. Do something splendid.

The only trouble is…I’m a klutz.

In what way you ask? Well, you see…

  1. The bobcat in the tree did not appreciate my saving it.
  2. While saving a village from a marauding giant I got my fingers stepped on…in a very big way.
  3. They called me the Bald Headed Princess, after I tangled with the fire-breathing dragon..
  4. It turns out an oncoming train will not stop for you just because you’re on a mission to rescue a baby on the tracks.
  5. I didn’t believe my friends when they said pulling that little pin would cause a big explosion.
  6. It rained during the jousting tournament and now I can’t get out of my armor.
  7. Riding on a sea serpent’s back is not a great place to be during a shipwreck.
  8. Dropping the Kingdom’s Lost Treasure down the Endless Cracks of Doom is a surefire way to became the Kingdom’s National Outcast.
  9. When challenging the Evil Overlord to a wizard’s duel, stumbling over your own two feet and dropping your staff is certain to end badly.
  10. No one can out-sing or out-seduce a siren, but I thought I’d give it a try.
  11.  Unless you enjoy living in a bottle, do not use that last wish to free the genie, no matter how hard he coaxes you.
  12. I ventured into the Magic Wood That No One Can Possibly Get Lost In…and I got lost.
  13. The ogre rubbed his stomach, stuffed his mouth with roast chicken and said if I guessed his name, I could enter the chamber of his dearest treasure…or perhaps he’d just eat me anyway.
  14. I dropped the Everlasting Treasure of the Entire Universe down the toilet.
  15. No matter how I protested I didn’t mean to turn the king into a chicken, nobody would believe me.
  16. I brought her The Berries of Life and they turned her purple from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toenails.
  17. I may have broke my leg while escaping the tower, but at least I’m not a damsel in distress waiting for a prince who never comes!
  18. The dryad said she’d help if I’d just come inside for a short visit, but then she wouldn’t let me out of the tree.
  19. I insulted the Fencing Genius of the Cosmos and was–naturally–challenged to a duel.
  20. While sailing a ship alone across the open seas, it is advisable not to fall asleep.
  21. When your enemy comes after you with flaming arrows its best to take cover and fling water, not stand in the open and shout insults.
  22. I ventured into a haunted house and the ghosts shouted insults until I fled the place, not in terror, just in tears.
  23. When it was prophecied that I would save the life of an important person no one stopped to think that the most important person in the land was a cruel tyrant.
  24. Because I ate that Blue Moon Cheese, I now spend most nights of the full moon howling my head off.
  25. The leader of the expedition complained that by falling into the Fountain of Youth, I contaminated the water for everyone drinking after me.

Which was your favorite epic fail? Comment below with three of your own, and a way you would get out of a few of these messes!

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