I’m on a quest to be a hero. Save the world. Do something splendid.
The only trouble is…I’m a klutz.
In what way you ask? Well, you see…
- The bobcat in the tree did not appreciate my saving it.
- While saving a village from a marauding giant I got my fingers stepped on…in a very big way.
- They called me the Bald Headed Princess, after I tangled with the fire-breathing dragon..
- It turns out an oncoming train will not stop for you just because you’re on a mission to rescue a baby on the tracks.
- I didn’t believe my friends when they said pulling that little pin would cause a big explosion.
- It rained during the jousting tournament and now I can’t get out of my armor.
- Riding on a sea serpent’s back is not a great place to be during a shipwreck.
- Dropping the Kingdom’s Lost Treasure down the Endless Cracks of Doom is a surefire way to became the Kingdom’s National Outcast.
- When challenging the Evil Overlord to a wizard’s duel, stumbling over your own two feet and dropping your staff is certain to end badly.
- No one can out-sing or out-seduce a siren, but I thought I’d give it a try.
- Unless you enjoy living in a bottle, do not use that last wish to free the genie, no matter how hard he coaxes you.
- I ventured into the Magic Wood That No One Can Possibly Get Lost In…and I got lost.
- The ogre rubbed his stomach, stuffed his mouth with roast chicken and said if I guessed his name, I could enter the chamber of his dearest treasure…or perhaps he’d just eat me anyway.
- I dropped the Everlasting Treasure of the Entire Universe down the toilet.
- No matter how I protested I didn’t mean to turn the king into a chicken, nobody would believe me.
- I brought her The Berries of Life and they turned her purple from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toenails.
- I may have broke my leg while escaping the tower, but at least I’m not a damsel in distress waiting for a prince who never comes!
- The dryad said she’d help if I’d just come inside for a short visit, but then she wouldn’t let me out of the tree.
- I insulted the Fencing Genius of the Cosmos and was–naturally–challenged to a duel.
- While sailing a ship alone across the open seas, it is advisable not to fall asleep.
- When your enemy comes after you with flaming arrows its best to take cover and fling water, not stand in the open and shout insults.
- I ventured into a haunted house and the ghosts shouted insults until I fled the place, not in terror, just in tears.
- When it was prophecied that I would save the life of an important person no one stopped to think that the most important person in the land was a cruel tyrant.
- Because I ate that Blue Moon Cheese, I now spend most nights of the full moon howling my head off.
- The leader of the expedition complained that by falling into the Fountain of Youth, I contaminated the water for everyone drinking after me.
Which was your favorite epic fail? Comment below with three of your own, and a way you would get out of a few of these messes!